Monday, 25 June 2018

Lazy Sunday Day reading.

Lazy Sunday Day reading.

Originally shared by Bettina Ascaino

What's an efficient way to overcome procrastination?
Answer by Mike Leary "Why" is the easy part. Getting the person to change, now there's psychology."

Stop calling it lazy.

Lazy is a slang term used to shame people into compliance. Like "Quit being stupid" or "Don't be so ugly". It's supposed to motivate the person by them not wanting to be a horrid thing. But it is the accuser who wants something done and it is they who have the critical power.

When we were growing up, at some point someone was pointed to who wasn't getting something done and an authority figure said: "they're lazy" with such disgust, we made a mental note never to be like them. Disgust is one of the major conduits of emotional energy. It's body fluids and s**t. But in this case, the person is the pile of s**t. So to show another you aren't, you will comply with their judgment to get off your ass and do it. At least that's the concept.

Only in real life, what's going on is not laziness. It's oppositional, avoidance, exhaustion, fear, tactical, or a number of other issues. The judge doesn't or can't see any these so groups them all under lazy because, in their eyes, the job simply isn't getting done. That judge can include oneself. Many of us had that label used on us as children so it burned in as a way we were supposed to motivate ourselves too. Only it just makes us feel bad, it doesn't get to the real issue.

In addition, using shame terms creates an aura of negativity in us as humans. Living in the universe with its laws impinging on us, we are governed by its forces all the time whether we are aware of them or not. In this case, it is the third law of motion: 'For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction'. When we feel insulted, which shame terms tend to do, we have a natural tendency to do the opposite, even if what was said is factual and helpful. We react to the insult rather than the reality. That's especially true if negativity was used as a motivator growing up.

So if the above is true, now what? How does one reverse a seemingly inherited behavior which is now costing you important deadlines, finances, health, or relationships?

1) Sort out what the truth is for this incident. What is really going on under the not motivated? There may be very legitimate reasons for not feeling like doing it now.

2) What does it remind you of similarly growing up? Who used the term on you and when.

3) Is it a habit or a predicament? Is it only happening on certain things that you don't like or has it spread to almost anything which takes effort?

4) Are any of those old formats still valid? How is shaming yourself with negativity helping you get things done?

5) Just becoming aware sometimes helps people release themselves from the old injunctions and they take care of business. Others are having to fight some old habits. They have to struggle to redirect the energy that's been going one direction for a long time. Another law of the universe.

6) Organizing on paper can help some sort what seems overwhelming in their mind and gives them a sense of control again. They can then focus on priorities and structure their time accordingly.

7) Others have to set up a discipline chart in order to break decades-long bad habits which resulted in things not getting done. The beginning of discipline is always scheduling which becomes what I call 'externalizing the computer'. Our head can't or doesn't schedule the sequences efficiently so needs the outside reminder.

8) Sometimes extra rewards are called for in order to motivate one through an unpleasant task. Some people are better than others at this but that type of bribery can spiral out of control and at some point, that part may just not be willing to be bought off anymore. Be careful setting this up.

9) Willpower is sometimes used to power on through but after many years, people can find their willpower has switched sides. It can dig in its heels and refuse at the worst possible moment. Best to use discipline.

10) One therapy technique is an aspect of the swish-pattern where the resistance energy is somanticaly given a voice in your body and moved to one hand. It states it's purpose and drive. Then a resourceful energy is located in your body and moved to the other hand. They have a dialogue and come to a new adult agreement, then merge by bringing the hands together to form a new form of energy, combining the best of both. That then is moved into the locations the other two used to fill. Now you have a new congruent resource.

11) And finally, get the big picture of who you are and your character. What kind of person are you regardless of what anyone else knows. Where is your integrity for making contracts. Do you operate on honesty and believe in keeping your word or have you given it away? Don't let anyone else take your truth. They can't really if you don't give it to them. Resolve for your own integrity, to do what you say, and say what you do. Be absolutely honest with yourself and you'll be honest with others. You won't take on things you aren't willing to do so there is no guilt. You'll not be "lazy" again.

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